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Home   Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man: What Men Really Think About Love, Relationships, Intimacy, and Commitment | |
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| | Description | Steve Harvey, the host of the nationally syndicated Steve Harvey Morning Show, can't count the number of impressive women he's met over the years, whether it's through the "Strawberry Letters" segment of his program or while on tour for his comedy shows. These are women who can run a small business, keep a household with three kids in tiptop shape, and chair a church group all at the same time. Yet when it comes to relationships, they can't figure out what makes men tick. Why? According to Steve it's because they're asking other women for advice when no one but another man can tell them how to find and keep a man. In Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man, Steve lets women inside the mindset of a man and sheds lights on concepts and questions such as: —The Ninety Day Rule: Ford requires it of its employees. Should you require it of your man? —How to spot a mama's boy and what if anything you can do about it. —When to introduce the kids. And what to read into the first interaction between your date and your kids. —The five questions every woman should ask a man to determine how serious he is. — And more... Sometimes funny, sometimes direct, but always truthful, Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man is a book you must read if you want to understand how men think when it comes to relationships. |  |
| | Product Details | | Author: | Steve Harvey | | Hardcover: | 232 pages | | Publisher: | Amistad | | Publication Date: | January 27, 2009 | | Language: | English | | ISBN: | 0061728977 | | Product Length: | 8.46 inches | | Product Width: | 5.92 inches | | Product Height: | 0.92 inches | | Product Weight: | 0.72 pounds | | Package Length: | 8.3 inches | | Package Width: | 5.8 inches | | Package Height: | 1.0 inches | | Package Weight: | 0.8 pounds | | Average Customer Rating: | based on 1046 reviews |
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| | Customer Reviews | Average Customer Review: ( 1046 customer reviews )
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248 of 274 found the following review helpful:
Steve gets it partially right Mar 30, 2009
By J. Evans The central premise of Steve Harvey's book is that women are not setting stringent enough standards in their romantic dealings with men. As such, he posits, they are giving away their social power and selling themselves short on their dating/mating goals.
Steve is partially correct, but he misses the central point. It is true that women do tend to settle for less than they truly want when dating, but the damage they're doing to themselves is not ultimately a result of letting men get away with murder, so to speak. Rather, the problem originates from the fact that women are choosing the wrong men. Decent men don't look for any opportunity to take advantage of women. They don't take that mile when given the proverbial inch. The men who do are the players, chiselers and con artists, the kinds of men who may look good in the store window but fall totally apart when you get them home from the mall.
'Act Like a Lady' ultimately is a rehashing of the familiar 'men are incorrigible dogs' theory of gender. It's a tired story that I'd hope we had moved past, but here it is again in a new package. Yes, men like sex. Yes, men like to look around. But decent men are able to control their urges, especially when they know that not doing so will cause great pain to those around them. Steve's theory doesn't stand up to real life, where if you spend any time, you quickly realize that uniqueness is a defining human personality trait.
Most women do have high standards--that is, until they run into a man who knows all the right things to say to circumvent their defenses. A woman can absolutely KNOW that she's worth all the trouble, but she'll totally drop her guard when a skilled player comes along saying all the right things. He's selling something she didn't even consciously realize that she wanted, and in the end she's a sucker for it. Some guys get very good at this because they practice deception from an early age with girls. It's up to women to see these men for who they are and to look the other way when they pour on the insincere charm.
Women need to realize that the adage 'all that glitters is not gold' applies to men as well as minerals.
159 of 190 found the following review helpful:
A Terrible Book That Proves Men Are Simple-minded Apr 17, 2010
By Mediaman
"TVviewer"
This terribly-written book has Harvey spouting humorless relational philosophy, such as "men are simple creatures." And he proves that point by writing such a simple-minded book that it's a complete waste of time to read it.
The book is sexist, stereotyping all men into knuckle-dragging, sports-loving hunters that just need a little sex to keep them happy. The book is addressed to women, telling them to dress better, accept that the guy won't talk much, and give sex more often in order to keep their guy from straying.
Most offensive is Harvey's constant references to "the Lord" and Jesus, leading people to believe he upholds spirituality, yet he point blank tells people to have sex after 90 days together and accepts a couple living together without being married. He often mentions going to church--didn't he learn anything there?
He also conveniently fails to mention that he has been married three times. The book would lead you to believe he was married once, to a woman he admittedly slept with and cheated on before she threatened to walk out on him. There is also no real mention of his children. A quick check of his bio online will uncover the truth. If you can't trust a guy writing a book about relationships to come clean about his own relationships, then why read the book?
There are a couple of valid points, such as the fact that men need respect and loyalty from women. But the lousy writing style and simplistic examples negate any reason to read this book.
66 of 77 found the following review helpful:
The problem with the Y chromosome Mar 04, 2010
By Molly L I was disgusted by most of the advice in this book. I was shocked by his misogynistic views on love and marriage. It's one thing to help a man feel like a man, but what about a woman's wants and needs? "Give up Scuba diving honey- I don't like you doing it. Oh and if you don't have sex like a horny teenager I will find someone else who will- and that is your fault" I was just so disappointed by this book.
24 of 26 found the following review helpful:
Sad; no wonder marriage doesn't work for many Apr 27, 2009
By Learning New Ways I spent a lot of time being amazed (and sort of, crying, or cringing with sadness) when I read this book at how selfish and entitled so many men are. It seems to me being in a relationship with a man like Steve describes would be very painful and unsatisfying. And there is no way I would want to subject a daughter or son to a man like that as a father. So, if this is what men want, I guess it just doesn't work - there's no point in being a relationship. Thank God for feminism and my rights to make money, own property and take care of myself so I don't have to be demeaned and devalued in this way just in order to survive.
Steve's "Protect, Profess and Provide" desire is understandable but what I don't think he gets is that there is so much more to relationship. Also, it is ridiculous and obnoxious that he sees this as something unique to men. Women "Protect, Profess and Provide" all the time. Many mothers do this constantly with children, and alas many fathers do not - something is very wrong with that picture!
Good quality relationships between adults require much more: intimacy, autonomy, self-determination, personal responsibility and choice (for both parties!) if they are to have any meaning. And to last, each person must have the capacity to accept and understand the other. Finally, nurturing/mentoring skills in both men and women are critical. I see our jobs as parents to raise our children to have these skills and abilities.
The ultimate irony in this for Steve is that I am almost certain that he is missing the experience of knowing a truly feminine woman. His controlling, primitive, childish, male superiority attitude will almost certainly prevent a woman revealing her true nature to him. A man must really be a "man," and not a boy, to know "woman."
But I guess that's the point, he doesn't really want to know a woman, he just wants to gratify himself, no?
Sad that Steve is promoting these primitive views; I suspect he could singlehandedly fuel a Fourth Wave of feminism - now that's an accomplishment!
For another view on how much of this behavior is borne of male entitlement and privilege and the hope that some men are able to handle a more equal type of partnership, see "Why Does He Do That: Inside The Minds of Angry & Controlling Men"
82 of 98 found the following review helpful:
Nothing new here Apr 07, 2009
By Peters365 I don't understand why everyone thinks this is such a great book. While I found less than a half a dozen things to even smile about. I did find lots of stereotypical fluff and nonsense. If the author intended this book to be funny, he missed the boat. Its not. But if that's what you bought this book for, what a waste of both time and money. Because the alternative would be sad... advice???? I hope readers aren't using this sludge as groundbreaking, thought provoking or insightful advice. Its almost mind-numbing to think most women wouldn't already know most of this. SH is careful to say that all men don't fit into his categories. I would be more apt to say, that most men or the good ones, don't.) One example...SH says he doesn't know a single man who has NOT cheated on his wife. He should probably concentrate on getting a better class of friends and leave the advice to others better "suited."
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