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| | Description | Robert Weiss LCSW, CSAT-S, Founding Director of the Sexual Recovery Institute in Los Angeles and clinical sexual addiction expert avoids political and moral arguments to instead focus on the reality of being a gay man and a sex addict. The book raises questions for the reader like, "Is your sexual behavior causing unintended problems in your life?", while providing readers with useful insight, direction and support. Cruise Control helps both gay sex addicts and therapists gain a better understanding of the difference between Hypersexuality (sex addiction) and non-addictive sexual behavior within the gay experience. This book is a relevant, timely and important contribution to the body of recovery and self-help literature, Cruise Control provides understanding, empathy and encouragement to gay men seeking healthy sexual expression and intimacy - without the losses and pain brought about through active sex addiction. For all those gay guys who have ever said, "Well, it's just a gay thing" or "Having a lot of sex is what gay guys do" - this book is for you. | |
| | Product Details | | Author: | Robert Weiss | | Paperback: | 224 pages | | Publisher: | Alyson Books | | Publication Date: | July 01, 2005 | | Language: | English | | ISBN: | 1555838219 | | Product Width: | 1.31 centimeters | | Product Height: | 1.93 centimeters | | Product Weight: | 0.01 pounds | | Package Length: | 7.9 inches | | Package Width: | 5.2 inches | | Package Height: | 0.7 inches | | Package Weight: | 0.5 pounds | | Average Customer Rating: |  based on 17 reviews |
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| | Customer Reviews | Average Customer Review: ( 17 customer reviews )
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74 of 77 found the following review helpful:
 Gay Man Struggling With Out-of-Control Sex? Here's Your Guidebook... Aug 30, 2005
By Daniel D
"DJD"
As a gay man who came out early, but never had any guidance on how to explore my sexuality other than negative messages from my conservative upbringing, I was like a kid in a candy store when I gained my "freedom". The marketers in my community promoted, packaged, and sold uninhibited, no-strings sexual encounters like cheap lolipops. The "perfect" man was found on every page in every gay rag, and presumably, in every bar or club. An so this is where I learned about sex. "Relationships" were relegated to a small column on one of the back pages sandwiched between "escorts" and "one night stands". After 20 years of being encouraged to run from problems into the bed of the next, new hot stud, I realized my life was becoming more empty and isolated. My routine was work/gym/club/sex. I worked only to pay for the gym, the clubs, and ultimately, the sex. I slept when I had a chance. The internet made cruising easier. I spent hours each nite "setting up" encounters, perusing dozens if not hundreds of men online before selecting one or a few for a hook up. I ate and slept only when I found the time, or when my computer crashed. I could not go on a trip without setting up encounters while there, or cruising the bars, parks, bathhouses, etc. The thought of a relationship only brought on feelings of hopelessness. So it was back to cruising. This was my life.
There are other books out there on sex addiction, like "Out of the Shadows" by Patrick Carnes, but NONE written specifically by a gay man FOR gay men. If you are a gay man of any age and have had questions about your sexual activities, or feel a sense of hopelessness about finding the "right" guy, PLEASE read this book by one of the leading experts in sex addiction!!! Or at least, find someone who has it, or go to a bookstore and browse it.
The extremists on the right want to completely strip us of our equal rights and dignity that we have fought so hard to get, and now it seems the tide is starting to turn in their direction, yet many of us have no idea how to pull ourselves out of the bathhouses and chat rooms to fight back, let alone form stable, loving relationships.
This is a WONDERFUL guidebook to help lead you down a path to a richer, fuller, more enjoyable life. But it is only a guide... you have to do the leg work.
GREAT BOOK!!!!
13 of 13 found the following review helpful:
Every gay man should read this Nov 14, 2006
By Anonymous
As someone whose addiction only very slowly dawned on me - I knew I was unhappy and depressed but didn't really understand why until a friend told me about his substance addiction and how it went in six week cycles and another friend told me about his sex addiction - then I got the feeling that maybe I also had a problem. I had this book on my Amazon wishlist for months before I bought it - the act of buying it was an acknowledgement that I MIGHT have a problem and have to deal with it.
When it finally arrived I read it from cover to cover in an evening. I liked the way it looked at gay lifestyles from various angles and refrained from judging. I also found it very practical - for instance, the "30 day test" to determine if you have a problem with sex addiction. I went through the 30 days, and was convinced - I had a problem.
Since then, reading and acting on the advice in this book has been a lifesaver for me. I don't necessarily enjoy the AA approach it advocates, but found enough in it for me not to have to go to 12 step groups, yet still take positive steps to emerge from what has been a kind of hell.
And why every gay man should read this? In my community, sex addiction isn't even talked about. So to write an entire book about it - that's a great service. Buy it, read it, and pass it on.
25 of 29 found the following review helpful:
Every gay male should read this book Aug 07, 2005
By C. Box
"Audio nut - 24, Charlotte NC"
Every gay male should read this book. If it doesn't help you, it could help you to help someone else. If you are spending alot of time cruising, but wish you could find a relationship, sex addiction could very well be your problem.
Much thanks to the author... this book saved my relationship.
5 of 6 found the following review helpful:
An Essential Source Book Dec 07, 2007
By J Martin Jellinek
Cruise Control is an essential handbook for any gay males dealing with sex addiction issues. In clear and concise prose, the author discusses what sex addiction is and what it is not. He gives lots of examples of appropriate and inappropriate behavior, allowing us to see ourselves where appropriate. The text is geared specifically to a gay male audience, s issues of homophobia and orientation -related shame are addressed directly without judgment. The book can be a quick, one day read or it can be read slowly and be digested depending on the needs of the reader. I very highly recommend this book.
2 of 2 found the following review helpful:
"One of the Best Books I Have Ever Read" Jun 29, 2011
By Terry Richard
"Terry Richard"
Being an openly gay man for over 20 years now I have seen everything within the gay community. Like many gay males I know that a very large part of our culture is sex. This isn't really because we are gay, but for the simple reason we are men. It has been proven men tend to have a higher level of promiscuity than women as females tend to lean more on the side of relationships. I also must add that yes I do know many gay men who sleep around (myself included), but it is important to note that I know even more straight males who play the field searching for their next conquest.
In "Crusie Control: Understanding Sex Addiction in Gay Men" the writer discusses when a gay man should know if they are having a problem with too much sex, if this behavior is keeping them from doing other things in their life, and how to seek treatment.
More importantly this book (published in 2005) couldn't have come at a greater time in gay history as more and more gay men are having unsafe sexual practices with numerous partners so it is intrical that all gays get a chance to read this book for it may very well save their lives. The author, Dr. Robert Weiss, doesn't knock down or ridicule gay men for having sex; if anything he applauds them for doing it after all having a healthy sexual life is important to anyone. He simply pinpoints if you are indeed a sex addict and how to go about seeking treatment for such an unhealthy way of living.
Hopefully the publisher will reprint this wonderful book as it is now out-of-print, but many used copies are circulating around.
See all 17 customer reviews on Amazon.com
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