This is Henri Nouwen's "secret journal." It was  written during the most difficult period of his life, when he suddenly lost his self-esteem,  his energy to live and work, his sense of being loved, even his hope in God. Although he experienced excruciating anguish and despair, he was still able to keep a journal in which he wrote a spiritual imperative to himself each day that emerged from his conversations with friends and supporters.



For more than eight years, Henri Nouwen felt that what he wrote was too raw and private to share with others. Instead, he published The Return of the Prodigal Son, in which he expressed some of the insights gained during his mental and spiritual crisis. But then friends asked him, "Why keep your anguish hidden from the many people who have been nurtured by your writing? Wouldn't it be of consolation for many to know about the fierce inner battle that lies underneath so many of your spiritual insights?"

For the countless men and women who have to live through the pain of broken relationships, or who suffer from the loss of a loved one, this book about the inner voice of love offers new courage, new hope, even new life.

There is no question that one of those gifts is Henri Nouwen. I encourage any reader who is suffering the anguish of darkness in his or her spirit -- pick up this little book and let your journey move forward to resolution. Freedom has a price, but the joy far outweighs the costs!

22 of 22 found the following review helpful:


Penetrative  Jun 23, 1998
Henri Nouwen's autobiographical reflections are penetrative in that one can feel their relevance in a personal way. Nouwen experienced a transcendent crisis that made him leave a place he loved. He found himself chagrined by the fact that many consider him a spiritual model and yet his crisis was pulling him into despair. His knowledge and even his experience to this point could not preserve him from the full field of appraisal that penetrated his life.

Many of Nouwen's reflections are basic spiritual disci;lines. For instance, he says that one should not look for love from the place in which one ministers. The source of love for the minister, he maintains, is the community to which the minister belongs. Thus, the religious should look to his or her community for support. The lay minister has a family or a social group who can offer the kind of intimacy the minister needs.

Very often Nouwen comments that one needs to trust in God. Appreciative abadonment fo the mystery is what will bring the soul back into relationship with God.

Each reflection is one or two pages in length. It is advisable to read this book slowly to absorb its religious and spiritual power. One reflection a day accompanied with meditation will help the reader experience what Nouwen is conveying. There are books that have relevance for one's spiritual life. This book penetrates into one's unique constellation and calls forth a surrender to God.

34 of 37 found the following review helpful:


Absolutely Amazing, and So Helpful....  Nov 09, 2000 By Just-a-girl "abc-survivors.net"
As someone who suffers with depression and wrestles with spiritual issues, this book has touched me like no other. It took me several days just to get past page three. Each small meditation is an incredible truth that could drastically change a life.

I will be reading and re-reading these thoughts until they are ingrained in me, until I can call them to my mind and work them out in my life. These reflections will ring true in your heart, and they will call to your long-lost inner voice of love and guidance. Spiritual tensions make sense here, they have a place, an ordered place in personal life.

I struggle with the sadness and the promise of joy; I struggle with the darkness and the light, with my needs and the Giver. And this book brings discordant parts of our lives into harmony with one another. It helps me make sense of my life and myself. And that is a true gift.

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