With over a quarter million copies in print, You Mean I'm Not Lazy, Stupid or Crazy?! is one of the bestselling books on attention deficit disorder (ADD) ever written. There is a great deal of literature about children with ADD. But what do you do if you have ADD and aren't a child anymore? This indispensable reference -- the first of its kind written for adults with ADD by adults with ADD -- focuses on the experiences of adults, offering updated information, practical how-tos and moral support to help readers deal with ADD. It also explains the diagnostic process that distinguishes ADD symptoms from normal lapses in memory, lack of concentration or impulsive behavior. Here's what's new:

• The new medications and their effectiveness
• The effects of ADD on human sexuality
• The differences between male and female ADD -- including falling estrogen levels and its impact on cognitive function
• The power of meditation
• How to move forward with coaching

And the book still includes advice about:

• Achieving balance by analyzing one's strengths and weaknesses
• Getting along in groups, at work and in intimate and family relationships -- including how to decrease discord and chaos
• Learning the mechanics and methods for getting organized and improving memory
• Seeking professional help, including therapy and medication

This book is written in a very "easy-reading" style. There is a wonderful blending of research facts and referenced stories and quips. As an adult diagnosed with ADD at the age of 45, I can attest to the value of this book.
I highly recommend "You mean I'm not lazy, stupid or crazy" to anyone who has ever felt they were!

288 of 303 found the following review helpful:


Needs updating  Mar 10, 2006 By Trudy Shaw "permanent Tolkien student"
While reading some of the previous reviews, I saw one that mentioned "contemporary science" - written in 1999. The first Amazon.com customer review for this book is from 1997. If I'd read it then, I would have rated it higher. But a book that deals with anything medical needs to be updated long before it's a decade old, which this one now is. The chapter on medication is completely outdated; it shouldn't be referred to by anyone who wants to know what options are available now. And while all the scientific/medical questions about ADD/ADHD haven't been answered, more is known now than when this book was written.

The fact that this book has helped many people understand themselves better is great, and I'm not one who equates wanting to understand yourself with looking for excuses. This book has been recommended not only doctor to patient but friend to friend for a long time, and what it has can be helpful - the reason I gave it three stars. But I hope a second edition isn't being held back by the fact that the first one is still being recommended and purchased; it could be so much better if the information were updated.

I personally had a more general problem with the book, which may also be related to its age. I'm primarily inattentive type ADD, and felt like I was a real outsider while reading this book. Some things applied to me, but a lot didn't. And anytime there was a statement like, "We all remember from our childhood..." I'd think, "Nope. Not me." Not that there's anything wrong with a book aimed at people with combined or primarily hyperactive ADD, and I didn't take away a star because of it, but "nowadays" that would probably be stated more clearly in the information about the book, or even on the cover. But back in 1996, that might have been less likely. (I told my doctor that reading this book reminded me of my experience of going to a support group for people with depression and being the only unipolar one there. You're "supposed to" fit in, and you kind of do, but not really.)

If this is the first book about ADD someone reads, it would be eye-opening, and it was probably the best around 10 years ago. But I don't think that's true anymore. A second edition of it would be very useful.

207 of 221 found the following review helpful:


A TERRIFIC resource! -Update for 2011  Jan 18, 2000 By Madelyn Griffith-Haynie "MGHCoach4ADD"
"You Mean I'm Not Lazy, Stupid or Crazy! " belongs on the bedside table of every ADDer and of every parent, spouse or teacher who is trying to understand the ADDers in their lives. It was cutting edge when it was written and its information is still right on target.
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May 2011 update: The review below was written many years ago for the first edition of the book - and I still stand strongly by it years later. "Lazy/Crazy" was SO cutting edge it aged amazingly well.***

NOW, however, Kate and Peggy have founded their own coaching company, mine's just coming out of hiatus with a new focus, and I'll be training coaches with their company next fall. AND the content of the book has been refreshed for the 2006 revision. It's an easier read, I'm told (hard for me to tell, since I know the material so well), there are a few totally new topics, recent discoveries of medical science have been included, etc. I have both editions, refer to them both regularly, and recommend regularly.

You simply MUST have SOME version of this book if you have (or suspect you have) Attention Deficit Disorder (now officially named ADHD until they change it again for the DSM-V! ) (see ***footnote below)
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As an ADDer, ADD Coach, founder of a company that trains ADD Coaches, and co-founder of the ADD Coaching field itself, I not only recommend "Lazy/Crazy" to anyone who asks for an ADD book recommendation, it has been required reading for OFI's 2-to-3-year ADD Coach Training program since the first classes in 1994. (Kate joined us several years later and became President of OFI; Peggy joined us in 1999 and headed up OFI's Sliding-Scale Coaching Clinic until she became Director of Training -- all the more reason I can recommend this book WITHOUT reservation!)***

An extremely readable book, obviously written from an "insiders" viewpoint, this book made me feel understood and validated -- like great advice from good friends. When I stumbled across it on the "New Books" table at a large Manhattan Bookstore (BEFORE I had met either of these authors) I started reading immediately. It was well over an hour before I finally forced myself to close the book, pay for it, and take it home. My copy is well-worn and multi-colored from all the highlighting I do to focus my attention.

DO take the time, as the authors advise, to carefully read the first chapter. Although it is a little "heavier" reading than the rest of the book, the ADD information it provides will prove well worth the concentration it may take to go through one small chapter. (Helpful Hint: If your dominant modality is visual you will either LOVE the graphics or hate them. For my clients in the latter group, a sticky-note covering the graphics allowed them to focus more easily on the text.)

Madelyn Griffith-Haynie, MCC, SCAC -- founder & CEO of The Optimal Functioning Institute(tm) & ADDCoach.com(tm)
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***To answer the unasked questions: NO, I don't make a cent from it, and NO, it was required reading for OFI's training long before I became friends with the authors (and several years and many trainings before we began working together). Our friendship and working relationship was A RESULT of my opinion of their excellent book, not the other way around!!!!

60 of 61 found the following review helpful:


The most useful book I've found  Apr 05, 2005 By C.
I was diagnosed with ADD at the age of 9. In the seven-plus years since then, I've read a great deal of books about ADD. Almost all of them rely on the same "You're a unique and special snowflake!" attitude, and the same generalizations about people with ADD.

After I was given this book as a gift, I put off reading this book for a while, sure thatit would be more of the same. Instead, it was incredable in its honesty. Instead of playing up the benefits of ADD, making it sound like a wonderful blessing, Kelly understands that, sometimes, it's also a curse. Those recently diagnosed need may reassurance, of course. However, when that's ALL a book is, it loses its value as a resource. That's why this book was so great- it stated that there's nothing wrong with ADD in the first couple chapters, then moved right along (giving it a more believable tone than most books, whose constant "There's nothing wrong at all!" statments make me suspect that maybe the author is trying to hide something) to talking about theories involving ADD (which was pretty cool).

My favorite thing about this book is that it talks about the problems ADD can cause in various aspects of your life, and how ADD can manifest itself in different people. Rather than make general assumptions about people with ADD, the authors recognize that ADD is a complex, varied condition. Before this, I'd no idea that my sluggish periods might be part of my ADD, that it manifests itself verbally, and that my tactile defensivness (an occasional aversion to physical contact) wasn't because I was aggressive or weird- I was just overstimulated! No other book had even MENTIONED this kind of thing.

Keeping with the diversity of problems, the authors offer a diversity of possible ways to deal with problems arising from ADD. Each idea can easily be altered to fit your needs- another big plus.

Honestly, if you or your teenage child have ADD or ADHD, you should not be without this book.

55 of 56 found the following review helpful:


A classic that I often recommend to newly diagnosed adults  Jan 15, 2005 By Carol Watkins "Psychiatrist"
First, I want to start with the title: It is so reassuring and affirming. How many adults and older teens have thought this when they first realized that they had AD/HD? Even the illustrations have a humorous, comfy, reassuring feel.

This book deals with the every day practicalities of living with AD/HD. First, the authors reassure the reader that he or she is not bad or blameworthy. This is good, but then they go on to help the individual to take charge. Ultimately this leads to a new sense of empowerment and an enlightened sense of responsibility. The book deals with the often overlooked issues of scheduling, spirituality, adequate sleep and maintaining social supports.

My favorite chapter is the one on how to organize your workspace. This chapter is worth the price of the book. So often people waste time getting up and looking for the stapler or the stamps when a few organizational tips could give them less reason to get up and get distracted.

Best of all for this book: It also comes as an audiocassette!! I personally prefer the book because you can refer back to the individual chapters. If you are not a book reader, consider getting the cassette, and then buying the book so that you can refer to pertinent chapters.

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